Following is the first in a series of interviews that shaped the narrative of my next book: VoiceS Unearthed: The Impact of Early Intervention on Those Who Continue to Stutter.

Aasami, mom to 11-year-old Satya

Early therapy focused on fixing Satya’s stutter. When Satya’s self-esteem started to go down and she became more quiet, they switched to receiving therapy through the American Institute of Stuttering (AIS). AIS provides wholistic therapy focused on helping clients to speak without fear, struggle, or avoidance, whether or not they continue to stutter.

“Satya’s stutter started around age five. The school speech therapist said they couldn’t help because it was not affecting her academics. When she was seven, we sought out a private speech therapist. Like many parents who don’t stutter themselves but have a child who stutters, I just assumed it was about contacting a speech therapist like we did for our daughter’s older brother when he couldn’t say his r’s.

The speech therapist was lovely and at first Satya was excited to go play games, but nothing changed her stutter and I felt that there was no progress being made. I was still in the mindset that she needed to be fixed because no one was speaking to me about how I needed to change my attitude.

We noticed as she was getting older, she was talking less and her self-esteem was going down. Everyone started to notice. Even though her current speech therapist was lovely, she did not address what was going on underneath – what we now know as the stuttering iceberg* We were starting to realize that telling her things like “just slow down” was never going to help.

A turning point:

We eventually got help from school and Satya got a speech individualized educational plan and the new school-based speech therapist. This speech therapist had interned with the American Institute for Stuttering (AIS) in New York City, an organization that focused on acceptance, avoidance, parent involvement, and self-esteem. She told us, “you need to forget everything you think about stuttering.” She was very gentle about it. We were really lucky to have stumbled on to this organization’s way of therapy.

Our daughter saw the new school-based speech therapist once a week and we also started seeing a therapist at AIS. We were lucky. We had experienced two years of traditional speech therapy and things could have gotten bad. Her self-esteem was starting to plummet. Things turned around and after one year, she’s like a different person.

One of the biggest changes is that this therapist is a person who stutters so Satya has this weekly meeting with someone who understands her completely.  I also get time with him and it’s so helpful. Here’s an adult who knows what it’s like to stutter and who has this great ethos. The combination of him and the school-based speech therapist completely changed the way I think. That was of huge importance because I’m with her all the time. My attitude being different has hugely helped her. I’m not making faces or going ‘please start again, slow down, etc.’ I’m not doing any of that.

It’s a journey. We attended parent group meetings with AIS and there was a lovely couple who had a six-year-old daughter and hadn’t started with a speech therapist. The father was still very much in that place of fixing. It was great because he had all these people and specialists who could explain that it needs to be a different approach. Then I realized, ‘That was me not so long ago!’

Our daughter is now into speed skating and loves roller derby. She’s very artistic, loves baking and plays the flute. She’s just about to start middle school so we’re taking a big deep breath. She wants to get some pink in her hair. She’s wanting to make a bit of a splash.

Having stumbled into this therapy, well, I’m constantly thinking, ‘We’ve been so lucky, we dodged a bullet.’ I can’t believe where I am now compared to where I was and it didn’t take long. Her mental health, that is the most important thing as far as I’m concerned.

Fix or protect. I wanted to fix her because I wanted to protect her. There’s nothing wrong with my kid. It’s a gift, she can go out and tell people, ‘this isn’t a problem as long as I’m speaking.’”

*https://www.stutteringhelp.org/blog/sheehan-stuttering-analogy