A new Voice Unearthed blog post, “We wanted to exhaust every option… ” is from a series of interviews that shaped the narrative of my next book, VoiceS Unearthed: The Impact of Early Intervention on Those Who Continue to Stutter. (Names of interviewees have been changed for reasons of confidentiality.)
Faye, mom to Eric, age 19
“Both my husband and I were very anxious, and we wanted to fix our son. Something was faulty with our child, and I wanted to make him perfect.”
“Eric’s nursery school initially picked up his stammer at age 3 ½ and referred him to be assessed by child health. The referral took forever, and he was eventually seen when he moved to his primary school just before he was five. They had a few sessions with him in school and observed him in class and at play. We were then invited to a meeting where they told us he wasn’t stammering in class or with his friends so it must be a problem at home! I remember this conversation like it was yesterday. She really made us believe it was something that we were doing to cause his stammer. He progressively got worse; however, we were reluctant to go back to school as they had made us feel like it was somehow our fault.
Both my husband and I were very anxious, and we wanted to fix our son. Something was faulty with our child, and I wanted to make him perfect. It was such a wrong thing to do, with hindsight—we wanted to exhaust every option we could. Eric was bullied at school, often in tears and asking me to take him for an operation to have the stammer removed. We felt so much pressure as his parents. We had the impression that there was therapy that could fix the stammer.
When he was seven, our general practitioner referred us to the National Health System local speech and language team. He was finally given an assessment when he was eight and by that time his stammering was quite bad. He was getting bullied at school and his confidence and esteem were very low. From his assessment he then had weekly sessions with us also involved. The focus was on his fluency and slow speaking through play mainly. I remember he got maybe four or five different speech therapists so there was no consistency in the therapy and no chance to build a therapeutic relationship. The therapy was very repetitive, and progress was slow. They talked at him, and we were not involved at all. They wanted him to slide his words and stuff. He went for so many appointments and I now know he hated every moment of it.
A turning point:
I researched other support and eventually got a refer to The Palin Centre for Stammering and their parent-child interaction therapy was outstanding. They focused more holistically and looked at his mood, anxiety, and self-esteem. They also gave us, as his parents, educational days on our anxieties surrounding his stammer. They provided him with a group outdoor pursuits week with several other kids who stammered, and he returned a totally different kid. Before this therapy, the speech therapists didn’t recognize the damage they were doing.
Eric still stammers some days worse than others, but he has his public service degree and is now studying for his nursing degree. Nothing phases him, nothing holds him back and his confidence goes from strength to strength.”